Complaints

Hello, again. The twins are safe for a few minutes, eating pasta and making sweet noises of animal pleasure. Now I can complain about them. Every day, hundreds of times a day, they climb up on the kitchen counter and open the cabinets and threaten to (or do) smash glasses, shake vitamin bottles or even open them (Saul ate an MSM), turn on the coffeemaker...or else they open the cabinets on the other side and help themselves to cereal and crackers ("quack-ohs," both). I can confine them to the downstairs, but then they fight and bite. I can't win. They have baby anxiety disorder, clearly, and can't stay happy doing much for long, other than plugging things into outlets while I look the other way (what can I do? they know how to remove the covers), or dumping every single book off the living room shelves, or putting various items into the floor vents. They're very, very, very cute, but whiny and aggressive and soooooo easily bored, and so needy. Before I fed them pasta, they expressed their hunger this way (they got hungry earlier than they were supposed to, you see, more boredom, probably): Yasha bit Saul, so I grabbed S., so Yasha bit harder, so I moved Y. further away, so he hurled himself back and bit me, so I tried to hug both of them at the same time (I should know better), thereby causing them to scream louder and bite each other with even more ferocity. That's when I realized I had to make the pasta. And I can't play with them. If I try to read to them, they grab the book and fight and bite (contrast the video I saw on facebook of girl-twins, same age as ours, nicely Patting the Bunny with their dad). If I try to play Duplos with them, they grab each other's creations and throw and hit and bite. Now Saul is wailing (his strap is tighter), and Yasha is dancing on the table (stomp, stomp, stomp)--off I go. 

P.S. Above, Ezra's clever, if depressing, "solution" to the problem of babies climbing on kitchen counter. Just how long do you think it took them to figure out how to tip the chairs up (after a fun round of "riding" them like sleds)? Hmmmm...... ten minutes? And when I take the chairs away, just how long do you think it is before a toy truck pulls up, or a diaper box, or a rocking horse, with a newly-tall twin on it, ready for acrobatics? Not very...